Welcome to the morgue, the very first page turner where you can never turn back...
Get comfortable with the morbid. You'll never escape. But that doesn't have to be all bad, right? I'd like to think that it depends on who you ask.... If you ask the employees at Necrophilian Hearse Driver's basement emporium...We would all would certaintly tell you that WE LOVE IT!!!!
You get home from work, crack open a beer and turn on the television, just like us. When we're not embalmin' bodies and inhalin' black mold the employees of this basement morgue like to dive into the fictious displays of werewolves, "larger-than-life" surgeons and machete wielding goalies... But don't fret! We beleive in the concept of sharing... So let us begin... Where are some necrophilian approved films.
Creativity straight from the minds of The Soska Twins, Jen and Sylvia. A set of twins born in North Vancouver,Canada! A horror so shocking that it metamorphized into nightmare fuel in the dystopian brutuality we all find ourselves living in.
"It's like this. We live in claustrophobia, a land of steel and concrete trapped by dark waters. There is no escape, nor do we want it. We've come to thrive on it and each other. You can't get the andrenaline pumping without the terror, good people!" Clowns, circus freaks and putrid souls alike. We all come together for fright, right? That's what keeps the heart warm in an otherwise cold corpse's body. Each other. And probably Ted, your next door neighbour whose house reeks a rancid odour and you're never quite sure why his pupils are always dilated at the butcher shop, or quite where he gets the meat from considering he hasn't left a 15 mile radius from his house in the past sixty years...Or where he works, or what he does... Or why Stacy, Shirley, and Johnny went missing 50 odd years ago. Come to think of it, does anybody know this dude's last name? Ted aside, I know another thing that keeps the heart warm and toasty, comedy! And that's why Jason Takes Manhattan is the
NECROPHILIAN HEARSE DRIVERS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY BEHEADINGS OR SNUFF FILM CIRCULATION IN THE EVENT THAT YOU DO CONTACT A MEMBER OF ISIS FOR YOUR VIEWING OF JASON TAKES MANHATTAN
Have you ever wanted to transform into a werewolf? No? Well, in this campy, teenage-drama: YOU DON'T GET A CHOICE! THAT'S RIGHT! AND IF YOU THAT OFFER WASN'T EXCITING ENOUGH, WE'LL THROW IN EVEN MORE SHIT YOU NEVER ASKED FOR! Critics scream, "WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?" 9 out of 10 creeps say, "This reminds me of my youth!" 10 out of 10 neighbours say all their cats and dogs have gone missing! Warning: Side effects of turning into a werewolf may include bloodlust, sleep deprivation and iritability.
Now you may ask yourself, what music do the folks at the morgue listen to when they're slaughterin- EMBALMING another dear, dear loved one of yours. Here are the first songs offically approved by Necrophilian Hearse Drivers.
A music video featuring "Corpsy", a 1959 Cadillac hearse owned by Robert Rhine
the creator of Girls n Corpses magazine!
With a dirty n rotten music video showcasing several pieces of the media. Here is a list of the media
contained in the music video:
The Ritual (2017)
Christine (1983)Silent Hill (1999)
Possession (1981)
VVitch (2015)
The Ring (2002)
Evil Dead II (1987)
Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Lost (2001)
Dark Knight (2008)
Lost Highway (1997)
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992)
28 Days Later (2002)
Blade Runner (1982)
Star Wars: A New Hope (1977)
Deepburn by Salem (2008)
King Night (2010)
Trapdoor by Salem (2010)
Chief Keef POLICE BODY DASHCAM (2013)
Scream Mask Robbery (2014)
It is thought to date back to World War One, with various lyrical interpretations Harley Poe's verison of it is my personal favourite, but if that's not your tune.
Don't wheep, don't fear, listen to numerous covers, if you dare...
This song samples Ne Perdez Jamais Espoir by the French Canadian black metal band Akitsa, formed in 1999 and still going! If you are a proud French Canadian who loves raw underground music, I would reccomend checking out more of their discography.
Witchhouse rapper Sematary gets vulnerable with powerful and soul hitting bars. "HAUNTED MOUND, YA CRACKER!!" is the most soul driven adlib I have ever heard! "It's so hard to fight when you wish you were never born." is a personal favourite lyric of mine. But remember, we at Necrophilian Hearse Drivers love the dead! We don't want to become it! What will the dead do without the living to appreciate them in all their glory?
This song is for the folks who wake up in rain soaked and broken down abandoned barns with no memory of their name, how they got there or quite why they have massive scars on their lower abdomen and a strange kidney-less feeling.
VOLUME #2...Coming Soon