DO YOU SPEND LIFE LONGING FOR THE DAY YOUR CURTAINS CLOSE?

DO YOU SEE CHARM IN THE SNAKES AND NOT THE SNAKE CHARMER?

BEFORE YOU REACH THE WORMS DOWN IN THE SOIL...

SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND EXPLORE THE MOST UNSETTLING SIGHTS THIS CIRCUS HAS TO OFFER!

THE FIRST EDITION OF NECROPHILIAN HEARSE DRIVERS.... OUT NOW!!!!

Welcome to the morgue, the very first page turner where you cannot turn back...

NECROPHILIAN HEARSE DRIVERS: VOLUME #1

Get comfortable with the morbid. You'll never escape. But that doesn't have to be all bad, right? I'd like to think that it depends on who you ask.... But if you ask the workers over at Necrophilian Hearse Drives and my basement emporium... We would all certaintly tell you that WE LOVE IT!!!!

GUTWRENCHING GORE FESTS!!!

We're not so different from you. I'd say we're quite alike! You get home from work, crack open a beer and turn on the television, just like us. When we're not embalmin' bodies and inhaling black mold the employees of this morgue like to dive into the fictious displays of werewolves, "larger-than-life" surgeons and machete wilding goalies... But don't fret! We believe in the concept of sharing... So here is some necrophilian approved films.

AMERICAN MARY 2012

Creativity straight from the minds of The Soska Twins, Jen and Sylvia. A set of twins born in North Vancouver, Canada!

A horror that seems too shocking to have turned into nightmare fuel in this dystopian present day we all find ourselves living in.

FRIDAY THE 13TH Part VIII:JASON TAKES MANHATTAN

"It's like this. We live in claustrophobia, a land of steel and concrete trapped by dark waters. There is no escape, nor do we want it. We've come to thrive on it and each other. You can't get the andrenaline pumping without the terror, good people!" Clowns, circus freaks and putrid souls alike. We all come together for fright, right? That's what keeps the heart warm in an otherwise cold corpse's body. Each other. And probably Ted, your next door neighbour whose house reeks a rancid odour and you're never quite sure why his pupils are always dilated at the butcher shop, or quite where he gets the meat from considering he hasn't left a 15 mile radius from his house in the past sixty years...Or where he works, or what he does... Or why Stacy, Shirley, and Johnny went missing 50 odd years ago. Come to think of it, does anybody know this dude's last name? Ted aside, I know another way that keeps the heart warmth, comedy! And that's why Jason Takes Manhattan is the ONLY RE-MAKE THAT IS VOUCHED FOR BY NECROPHILIAN HEARSE DRIVERS. Watch it with a friend, your cat, your taxidermy collection, or your wife! Watch it alone with a shotgun in your lap and all of your windows blacked out with garbage bags and duct tape! Watch it with a hostage or watch it with a member of ISIS for an exclusive first person view of a hostage situation! Nothing beats real life experience! NECROPHILIAN HEARSE DRIVERS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY BEHEADINGS OR SNUFF FILM CIRCULATION IN THE EVENT THAT YOU DO CONTACT A MEMBER OF ISIS FOR YOUR VIEWING OF JASON TAKES MANHATTAN.

GINGER SNAPS 2000

Have you ever wanted to transform into a werewolf? No? Well, in this campy, teenage-drama: YOU DON'T GET A CHOICE! THAT'S RIGHT! AND IF YOU THAT OFFER WASN'T EXCITING ENOUGH, WE'LL THROW IN EVEN MORE SHIT YOU NEVER ASKED FOR! Critics scream, "WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?" 9 out of 10 creeps say, "This reminds me of my youth!" 10 out of 10 neighbours say all their cats and dogs have gone missing! Warning: Side effects of turning into a werewolf may include bloodlust, sleep deprivation and iritability.

Now you may ask yourself, what music do the folks at the morgue listen to when they're slaughterin- EMBALMING another dear, dear loved one of yours. Here are the first songs offically approved by Necrophilian Hearse Drivers.

THE NECROPHILIAN HEARSE RADIO STATION

I'mma Do Me by Cityboyjohnny ft. Sematary - The anthem of Torrent of Terror!

Headlights by Sematary - The anthem of Necrophilian Hearse Drivers!

A music video featuring "Corpsy", 1959 Cadillac hearse owned by Robert Rhine the creator of Girls n Corpses magazine! With a dirty n rotten music video showcasing several pieces of the media. Here is a list of the media contained in the music video:

The Ritual (2017)

Christine (1983)

Silent Hill (1999)

Possession (1981)

VVitch (2015)

The Ring (2002)

Evil Dead II (1987)

Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

Lost (2001)

Dark Knight (2008)

Lost Highway (1997)

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992)

28 Days Later (2002)

Blade Runner (1982)

Star Wars: A New Hope (1977)

Deepburn by Salem (2008)

King Night (2010)

Trapdoor by Salem (2010)

Chief Keef POLICE BODY DASHCAM (2013)

Scream Mask Robbery (2014)

The Hearse Song (Worms Crawl In, Worms Crawl Out) of unknown origins.

It is thought to date back to World War One, with various lyrical interpretations Harley Poe's verison of it is my personal favourite, but if that's not your tune.

Don't wheep, don't fear, listen to numerous covers, if you dare...

Wendigo by Sematary - The anthem of Wihtikow!

This song samples Ne Perdez Jamais Espoir by the French Canadian black metal band Akitsa, formed in 1999 and still going! If you are a proud French Canadian who loves raw underground music, I would reccomend checking out more of their discography.

5150 by Sematary - A Halloween jam with raw trapped out SWAG!

Witchhouse rapper Sematary gets vulnerable with powerful and soul hitting bars. "HAUNTED MOUND, YA CRACKER!!" is the most soul driven adlib I have ever heard! "It's so hard to fight when you wish you were never born." is a personal favourite lyric of mine. But remember, we at Necrophilian Hearse Drivers love the dead! We don't want to become it! What will the dead do without the living to appreciate them in all their glory?